‘General Interest’ Archives
12 Step Forgiveness
Several years ago a man came to the probation office to see me. He was in a twelve-step recovery program for substance abuse, and said we had some unfinished business from when he was on my caseload, three years earlier. He apologized for how badly he had behaved and admitted that, at the time, he would go to any extremes to use alcohol [...]
Can You Pledge to be Compassionate?
According to a "Mail Online" article of March 6, 2010, an 11 year old boy died of dehydration in a South London hospital due to neglect by hospital staff. The article states that, at one point, the boy was "so desperate for a drink that he rang police to beg for their help." When the police responded, they were told the boy was [...]
Donut Dollies Re-Unite
Surely it hasn't been almost 40 years since I returned from Vietnam. Surely the intervening years didn't disappear like smoke from a summer campfire. Surely the very real events of my youth haven't already been relegated to the unreality of history. Surely not, yet I have in my hands a piece of paper that suggests otherwise. This week [...]
Those Inner Conflicts
I think I was in college when I realized that some of my inner conflicts - you know, those little arguments we carry on within ourselves - were the conflicts my parents had with each other. The Bud half of me would do something to embarrass or annoy the Esther half, and vice-versa, leaving me feeling I was wrong, no matter which "side" I [...]
What’s “Self Esteem” Got to do with Probation?
I think our fixation on "self esteem" has affected the way probation officers approach the problem of crime and has even contributed to our lack of success. The primary job of sworn peace officers, including probation, is to keep the community safe. Period. Assisting offenders is secondary to that mission. However, because we believe in [...]
A Soldier’s Christmas Carol
As stewardesses on an international airline, we flew troops into Vietnam at the height of the war. Naturally the flights didn’t stop when holidays were celebrated at home, and my roommate found herself on a military charter bound for Saigon, on December 23, 1968. The cabin was full of young men, and the pain was palpable. I’m certain the [...]
O Christmas Tree …
Christmas 1969 was probably my most memorable holiday, but it was definitely not the most enjoyable. Still, what began as a depressing experience was somehow transformed by a fairly insignificant symbol. I was stationed at Camp Enari, near Pleiku, in the Central Highlands of Viet Nam, one of four Red Cross Donut Dollies whose mission was to [...]
Dissipation Shows it’s Face
As I walked through the Probation Department reception area one day, I saw a teenage girl waiting to see her probation officer. She was probably fifteen years old and was an absolute doll. Her face still glowed with youthful, dewy innocence and she had that miraculous appearance of a child on the brink of unlimited possibilities. I don’t [...]
House Rules for an 18-year-old
Dear JustAdvice, Our 18-year-old daughter lives at home and we give her a car and pay for her upkeep. She recently disappeared for several days without telling us she was leaving and we were frantic because we had no idea where she was or what had happened to her. It turned out she went away with her boyfriend. We want her to at least let us [...]
Just Don’t Feel Guilty?
While eating lunch, I could hear the people at a nearby table talking about how to get around some rules. I wasn't eavesdropping, it's just that the gist of their conversation could be heard by anyone within earshot, whether we liked it or not. One man’s statement eventually rose above the din. He said, "And don’t feel guilty, [...]
