‘Social Issues’ Archives
12 Step Forgiveness
Several years ago a man came to the probation office to see me. He was in a twelve-step recovery program for substance abuse, and said we had some unfinished business from when he was on my caseload, three years earlier. He apologized for how badly he had behaved and admitted that, at the time, he would go to any extremes to use alcohol [...]
Can You Pledge to be Compassionate?
According to a "Mail Online" article of March 6, 2010, an 11 year old boy died of dehydration in a South London hospital due to neglect by hospital staff. The article states that, at one point, the boy was "so desperate for a drink that he rang police to beg for their help." When the police responded, they were told the boy was [...]
Those Inner Conflicts
I think I was in college when I realized that some of my inner conflicts - you know, those little arguments we carry on within ourselves - were the conflicts my parents had with each other. The Bud half of me would do something to embarrass or annoy the Esther half, and vice-versa, leaving me feeling I was wrong, no matter which "side" I [...]
A Name Is Not A Legacy
We were sipping coffee in Starbuck’s when I noticed “Luis” etched into the surface of our table. Luis no doubt believed he was making a meaningful statement, but I suspect he didn’t think it through. Besides the mark in the table, Luis left a more telling impression. He left evidence of someone who has no respect for other [...]
What’s “Self Esteem” Got to do with Probation?
I think our fixation on "self esteem" has affected the way probation officers approach the problem of crime and has even contributed to our lack of success. The primary job of sworn peace officers, including probation, is to keep the community safe. Period. Assisting offenders is secondary to that mission. However, because we believe in [...]
A Soldier’s Christmas Carol
As stewardesses on an international airline, we flew troops into Vietnam at the height of the war. Naturally the flights didn’t stop when holidays were celebrated at home, and my roommate found herself on a military charter bound for Saigon, on December 23, 1968. The cabin was full of young men, and the pain was palpable. I’m certain the [...]
Dissipation Shows it’s Face
As I walked through the Probation Department reception area one day, I saw a teenage girl waiting to see her probation officer. She was probably fifteen years old and was an absolute doll. Her face still glowed with youthful, dewy innocence and she had that miraculous appearance of a child on the brink of unlimited possibilities. I don’t [...]
House Rules for an 18-year-old
Dear JustAdvice, Our 18-year-old daughter lives at home and we give her a car and pay for her upkeep. She recently disappeared for several days without telling us she was leaving and we were frantic because we had no idea where she was or what had happened to her. It turned out she went away with her boyfriend. We want her to at least let us [...]
Just Don’t Feel Guilty?
While eating lunch, I could hear the people at a nearby table talking about how to get around some rules. I wasn't eavesdropping, it's just that the gist of their conversation could be heard by anyone within earshot, whether we liked it or not. One man’s statement eventually rose above the din. He said, "And don’t feel guilty, [...]
Asking Inmates Who’s To Blame
A friend and I were walking by the Sheriff’s Office, re-hashing how the acceptance of personal responsibility actually gives us control over and ownership of our own lives. Although we now seem to have a large contingent of "perennial victims" in our culture, I believe most people still want to be the Captains of their Ships. As we passed [...]
