Posts Tagged ‘ask the probation officer’
Does Emancipation Mean “No Rules”?
Dear JustAdvice, Our 18-year-old daughter lives at home and we give her a car and pay for her upkeep. She recently disappeared for several days without telling us she was leaving and we were frantic because we had no idea where she was or what had happened to her. It turned out she went away with her boyfriend. We want her to at least let us know [...]
The Blame Game — In Reverse
I talk a lot about parents who don’t give a hoot what their children are doing, but at the other extreme are the parents who can’t imagine their children doing anything wrong. They consistently cover for them, go to their defense or take the blame themselves, no matter what the evidence indicates. They should, instead, be holding their [...]
Parents Should Ask Questions
Dear Probation Officer, My 14 year old daughter was recently arrested. She says she only admitted to the police because she was afraid. She is home now and we’re trying to get her life back on track but I’m upset by all of this and we still have to face Court. I would like to see the charges and ask some questions of my own, especially [...]
Good Casework, or just Dumb Luck?
Dear Probation Officer, Our son was on probation for a while and we really had our ups and downs with him. The probation officer was very attentive, and our son eventually straightened up, but we’re not sure exactly what brought him around. We’ve talked about it a lot and we don’t see where anybody did anything miraculous. Was it just dumb [...]
Dealing with a Stepson’s Misbehavior
Dear Probation Officer, My stepson is becoming very disobedient to his mother and me, especially me, and I don’t know what to do. His father left them when he was still in diapers, so he never knew him, but he tells me I’m not really his dad and that I can’t tell him what to do. I married his mother about a year ago. [...]
When Should Teenagers go to Bed During the Summer?
Dear Probation Officer, I would like to know your opinion on bedtime for teenagers. I think 1:00 AM is reasonable during the summer, but they prefer to stay up almost most of the night, watching TV and playing video games. Consequently, they sleep all day and are usually on the "wrong side of the clock." This causes problems with meals [...]
A Rough Profile of Delinquents
For the last few months I have been reading a lot of juvenile Court reports. From all of those case histories I put together a very unscientific profile of the typical juvenile repeat offender, at least those who reside in a medium-sized town in California. (more...)
Don’t Tell I Told
When the probation officer returned from lunch, Mrs. R. had left another voice mail message on his telephone. She was always double-dealing regarding her daughter, who was on probation for theft. He had no desire to hear the latest scheme, but he dialed the number anyway. (more...)
The One Thing I’ve Learned
I was once asked to describe, in a nutshell, what I had learned from being a probation officer. I couldn’t, at the time, give a concise answer, but now I know what I would say. After close to forty years of working with offenders, trying to assist, coerce, reason and punish them into rehabilitation, I am convinced of one [...]
The Push-Pull of Teaching Faith
A distraught mother called me one day to ask for advice regarding her teenage daughter. She said the girl was rebelling, mostly over the church they attended, and added, “We can’t get her to come around to our way of thinking, and last week she even ran away for two days.” In trying to explain the family dynamics, she [...]
